


Cure to Infatuation

by Nerd_Mom_Writer



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 09:52:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 20,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14691696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerd_Mom_Writer/pseuds/Nerd_Mom_Writer
Summary: COMPLETE. Reylo fanfic set after The Last Jedi. General Hux captures Rey and installs her in Kylo Ren's bedroom to help his new Supreme Leader work through his infatuation. Things don't go according to plan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I altered Hux's character for this because canon Hux is a bit boring. Introducing slightly sarcastic, very cranky, frenemy Hux who isn't out to supplant Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren hadn't particularly wanted to rule the First Order, but since Snoke's death, he knew it was him or Hux, and the First Order deserved better than Hux. The man was entirely too easy to bait.

Still, Snoke had been right. Hux had his uses. Kylo lacked the military background and interest to effectively command armies. He much preferred to choose the objectives and let Hux handle the minutiae of how to carry things out.

The two of them had come to an uneasy truce in the weeks following Snoke's death. So long as Kylo Ren carried out the glory of the First Order and hear out Hux's insights, Hux seemed to have no major objection to the change in leadership. 

However, they came to odds anytime the Resistance was mentioned. Though Kylo Ren knew better than to pursue the scavenger who had left him for dead twice now, he still longed to protect her happiness alongside the happiness of his mother. Hux, however, feared their growing influence on those who longed for the return of the political chaos of the republic.

“They have too much influence. We cannot afford to let the Resistance go unchecked!”

Kylo Ren usually settled such arguments with a force choke, though he rarely used it for any other topic. His anger, once an unstable driving force for his life, had dulled with the death of Snoke… perhaps another reason Hux found him more tolerable.

Another day, Hux took a different approach. “If we could steal the girl and General Organa away first, would you still want to preserve the Resistance?”

The question was unusually insightful for Hux, and Kylo Ren did not immediately know how to respond. “I am not sure the Resistance would exist without its leader and Jedi.”

Hux furrowed his brow, considering. “I understand why you wouldn't ask General Organa to join us, given her long political history, but why not the girl? She spent most of her life friendless and starving. She would probably leap at the chance to both have abundance and the influence for real change.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at the redheaded general. “You've researched her background.”

Hux shrugged and carefully looked him in the eye. “Anything of fascination to you can be used to exploit the First Order. It is my responsibility to recognize and investigate potential threats.”

Kylo nodded. Though it was unnerving to recognize this particular brilliance in Hux, he could not help feeling thankful that he resisted his impulses to kill Hux in that first week following Crait. “And what do you recommend?”

Hux relaxed, as if he had been fearing a more volatile reaction. “Invite the scavenger girl to join you. ”

Kylo stilled his growing rage with a deep breath. It would serve him no good here, and while Hux was nowhere near as pleasant to speak with as Rey, he had longed to speak with someone, anyone, about her. “What makes you think I haven't?” he said softly.

Hux's eyes widened. “I… Really? My condolences. I rather expected she might accept, given her lowly background and your own prestige.”

“I had too,” Kylo said. She had come from nothing, and he had offered her everything. “I suppose you know then.”

Hux looked at him politely, waiting.

“Snoke's death,” Kylo said.

Hux smirked. “You've always been a terrible liar, Ren. Yes, I know you killed Snoke, possibly to preserve that girl from him.” He paused a moment. “I would have killed him myself if I thought I had a hope of succeeding. I am tired of watching the galaxy kneel to the whims of the Sith.”

“And yet you tolerate me,” Kylo said, and he did not doubt Hux, though he knew Hux had desired his death many times that first week as well.

Hux gave Kylo Ren a hard look. “You are not a Sith. You have been very level on everything but Skywalker, your mother, and this girl. You said Skywalker is dead, so that’s no longer an issue. Your mother has only influenced your decision to capture instead of destroy the Resistance, and then there's this girl.”

“Rey,” Kylo Ren said. 

Hux nodded. “You erred on Takodana to collect her, again on Starkiller Base, and you killed Snoke for her if I'm not mistaken, and now I get the strangest reports from personnel.”

Kylo's heart stuttered with fear. He knew where this was leading, and while he had come to trust Hux in many ways he had never dreamed, the bond was too personal.

Hux continued. “The reports say that, on many occasions, you have been observed speaking to someone who isn't there, and you call her Rey.”

Kylo Ren said nothing, though he was starting to regret not force-choking the man into silence earlier.

Hux looked concerned, strangely enough. “I do not intend to dig, but this obsession of yours is causing disruptions among the troops who have noticed. You need to get a handle on it, or, failing that, get a handle on her.”

Kylo looked directly at Hux. “What exactly are you suggesting, Hux?”

Hux looked back at him evenly. “It would have been best if she came willingly, but since she won't, capture her and work out this infatuation. She's a war criminal anyway, officially. It's a good strategic move even without a personal motive.”

Kylo Ren felt equal parts delighted and sick. He had certainly fantasized about taking her prisoner and having her in every definition, but that Rey had been begging to be caught. The reality was much more sobering. Rey had given up on him. Seeing her close the Falcon's door on him had just been the first step. She had kept her distance in every force bond since, frequently ignoring him despite his efforts to bridge the gap in their friendship. Assuming he could even call it friendship.

The script of their relationship played through his head yet again. He had discovered her in the woods of Takodana trying to kill him. Since then, she had invaded his mind during a rightful and necessary interrogation, tried to kill him again, called him a monster, assumed she knew the truth of him and Skywalker, offered a hand only to invite him to the Resistance, and then thanked his success in slaying Snoke to save her life by insisting he join the Resistance again before leaving him for dead. 

He buried his face in his hands. He was better off giving up. At the time, he had thought she trusted and believed in him, but with every bonding that she rejected him, he suspected more that she had only reached out in a desperate plea to save the Resistance. However, his heart continued to ignore reason by fluttering whenever the bond found them and bleeding with each casual rejection.

His nights were filled with dreams of her.

Dreams that would never be.

Kylo Ren shook his head. Maybe Hux was onto something, given that Kylo could not seem to break his thoughts from Rey otherwise, maybe becoming a monster for her just one more time would help him move on.

He knew it was all foolishness. He looked around to tell Hux it was a bad idea and discovered his general had left him. Well, no matter, he had other work anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo Ren was about to slip into bed in his chambers when he felt the bond sizzle into place between him and Rey. She appeared before him in his bed, draped in an unfamiliar blanket on top of his sheets. Her pillow impossibly blended with his own. The light hit her at angles that made no sense for his own lighting, but it was clear she was in a similarly mostly dark room.

She immediately went tense, glaring at him with scorn and then quickly looking away. That’s right, he was shirtless. He sighed. “You know I have as little control over the bond as you do.”

“I don’t want to see you,” she said.

His heart ached. “I know.” He felt that he should be angry at her, given how much she likely had deceived him, but he couldn’t bring himself to turn his wrath against her. Just that once, after Crait, he had lost it, and the realization of how much he could have destroyed had haunted him ever since. Still, it was foolishness to repeat his usual pleas for a friendly resolution between them when they had failed every other time. Hux had made a fine point. He was a better leader without this obsession. He needed to end this. “I have something to say to you.”

Rey didn’t speak or acknowledge him. She just closed her eyes and squirmed deeper into her pillow. He wondered that she trusted him so much even though she despised him. She had to know he could hurt her easily in this bond, and she made no effort to protect herself. She knew he wanted her. Did she not understand what a man hungry with desire might do to a woman in this situation? Still, she was a powerful warrior, if not an outright proper Jedi. He was likely the only person who could harm her.

He would never harm her.

“I will no longer attempt to communicate with you through the bond. We cannot control it, and I realize that if it were up to you, it would be gone entirely.” He chuckled darkly as he realized she likely resented him for the bond, even though he had no more power over it than she did. “After all, you never wanted to know me.” Her eyes flashed towards him. “I will endeavor to follow the example you have set of ignoring it.”

Even though he had told himself this must be done, he realized that he had not truly given up even then as some flicker of hope made him wait to see how she would respond. He wanted her to tell him to keep bothering her. He wanted her to acknowledge what he was saying. There was silence as she gazed at him a moment, and then she looked away from him.

He exhaled roughly as he accepted his defeat. “Before I enter silence, I want you to know that I will remain your…” He paused as he thought of what word to use. They were not friends. They weren’t anything. “I will remain at your disposal should you need my assistance. For a time, you gave me more hope than I had ever dreamed possible, and that hope allowed me to free myself from Snoke’s clutches. I am forever indebted to you.” They both knew that he had limitations on how much he would help her. He would preserve her, but he would not outright betray the First Order.

He waited again to see if she would say something. Perhaps that tiny bit of hope would never be permanently extinguished. “That’s everything,” he said. The bond was still there, and he had meant to sleep right away. He was exhausted. Still, with her in his bed… “I’ll sleep on the floor,” he said after a moment. He made a mental note to have a sofa or cot installed so that he could sleep there if this situation arose again.

“What’s wrong with your bed?” Rey asked. She was looking at him again. Her expression was carefully blank, as it usually was. The days when he could guess every thought without using the force were long gone.

Kylo Ren froze. Did she not know? Of course she didn’t know. They could never see each other’s surroundings. That time with the Falcon had been the only exception. He hesitated, but she may as well know the truth. “The force had you appear in my bed.”

Her eyes widened briefly in surprise, and then she bit her lip with slightly furrowed brows. It was the most emotion he had seen on her in weeks, and he felt his pulse quicken at even that tiny reminder of the Rey he had fallen for. She cleared her face to neutral and looked up at him. “If you were to truly follow my example, you would sleep in your bed regardless.”

Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes at her. “You can’t want to share a bed with a monster.”

“It’s your bed, and it’s just sleep. Is there room for you to get in without touching me?” she asked.

His bed on the Finalizer was a full-sized bed, and she was on the right side of it. He could fit without touching her, but he would not be comfortable. He had, of course, been allowed the option of a larger bed when he became Supreme Leader, but he preferred having extra space for practicing his fighting forms. He would have taken a twin bed if he thought he could fit on one comfortably.

“Not really,” he finally admitted.

Rey was quiet a moment. “It doesn’t matter. Get in bed. I’ll adjust.”

Kylo Ren hesitated. “You’re sure?”

Rey rolled on her side, feeling out. “Is the near edge of your bed on my left or my right?”

“Your left, my right,” he said. 

Rey faced and scooted to her left until she was on the right edge of his bed. “Okay, I’m on the far edge of my bed now.”

He slowly walked toward the bed, giving her plenty of time to object or change her mind, but she was still and quiet, looking away from him. He climbed in carefully, faced his left, and stayed on the edge opposite her. He felt his heart breaking as he realized that the little conversation deciding sleeping arrangements might be the last one between them. At least he was far enough away that he wasn’t also tortured by the feel of her body heat.

He heard a slight shift and a small snort behind him. He sighed. He had just resolved not to speak to her again. Should he respond? 

“Okay, I can’t handle it. Come closer,” she said. Her voice sounded strange, almost as if she were suppressing mirth, but that made no sense.

Kylo Ren turned over and raised an eyebrow at her. He must have misheard her, and yet she was smiling at him. Had he already fallen asleep and entered his dreams? Her smile was so beautiful. Had he seen her smile before?

“The bond… I can’t see your bed. You look like you’re floating in midair. It’s ridiculous,” she bit her lip and giggled again.

Kylo Ren shook his head. “I must be dreaming,” he said. “I’ve never heard your laugh before.” His chest felt heavy. “It’s beautiful.”

His words wiped the smile from Rey’s face, and he felt the bond break a moment later. He gazed at the spot where she had just been and gripped his sheets tightly to keep himself from rolling into the same space to see if her warmth or smell remained on his sheets. She did not want him. Even if she had forgotten it for a moment to smile and laugh at him, she did not want him. She had stopped smiling the moment he said her laugh was beautiful, and she would likely hate him if she knew how desperately he desired her.

He forced himself out of his sheets and called for someone to change his sheets through the intercom. In the meantime, he went through his forms again. He would not return to that bed until any reminders of her had been removed and he had control of himself again.

He did not sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo Ren struggled to control his wrath towards Hux as he watched Rey sleep off the anesthesia on a white cot within a floor-to-ceiling barred cage in his room. The red-headed man had been entirely too clever of late. He had requested Kylo Ren’s assistance on a political mission to secure funds for the First Order, and in Kylo’s absence, had installed this gift, as Hux put it.

It had only been three days since Kylo Ren had told Rey he would leave not force his presence on her, and now she was locked up like some kind of pet ten feet from his own bed. He had half a mind to set her free and damn the consequences, but he could not forget how dangerous she was to the First Order, and as Hux had made very clear, there was no one else equal to be her jailer. 

Kylo felt her presence brighten before he saw her finger twitch. He had already been waiting five minutes for her to rouse. Hux hadn’t dared remove the IV keeping her unconscious until Kylo had returned.

How was he going to explain this to her? Should he even try? It was not like she would forgive him, especially if she realized what Hux had in mind for her when putting her here.

She moaned and opened her eyes. Whoever had installed her had left her on her back, face tilted towards his bed, which he now sat on. Her eyes immediately narrowed as she took in the bars, and then met his own eyes on the other side. Her eyes shot open, and panic exploded from her through the force. He winced inwardly, but kept his expression still and his voice silent as he leaned forward.

“What…” Rey slurred. She clenched her eyes shut and opened them again, and Kylo sensed that she was struggling to fight the sedative. She blinked a few times, and he felt her reach out into the force and allow it to clear away the cobwebs in her mind and body from the drugs. She breathed in deeply, and her panic calmed. When she gained control of herself, she sat up, swung her legs over the side of the cot, and met his gaze again. “This is not our bond.”

He shook his head.

“Explain.”

His lip curled up at the authoritative tone of her order. It was just a minute ago she had been nearly mad with fear. She would have made an amazing empress. “You and several of your Resistance friends were captured by the First Order aboard a submarine on Mon Cala. I’m told that they lifted the entire submarine out of the ocean with a tractor beam and then drilled a hole into it to fill the vessel with some form of sleeping gas. There were neither fatalities nor injuries of note.”

“Everyone on the submarine was captured?” Rey asked.

Kylo nodded. He did not have to tell her that the number included both his mother and her friend FN-2187.

“Where are they?”

“Imprisoned and undergoing interrogations, except for you and my mother. The interrogations are… not kind, but they leave no permanent damage, and I have requested that their injuries be treated after.” He did not bother to tell her that they were also currently spread across several ships and planetside bases to discourage rescue.

Rey frowned. “I won’t thank you for sparing me.”

He sat upright and shrugged. “You were spared because I cannot interrogate you without putting the First Order and myself at risk.”

“And your mother?” Rey asked.

Kylo narrowed his eyes at Rey. “She’s my mother.” He had thought Leia Organa had died in the space outside Crait. He would not risk losing her again, knowing that she had, at the moment of her likely death, feared for him and still desired to be family with him. That was another hope he could not extinguish, though he had not dared face his mother directly since he had murdered his father.

Rey’s features softened at his reason for not putting his mother through interrogation, but they hardened again with her next question. “Why am I here? These are your private quarters, are they not?”

Kylo took a slow, deep breath before responding. “They are. Your power makes you difficult to contain. Normal holding cells would only delay your escape. Our only options were this, death, or a medically-induced coma.”

“You could free me,” she countered, narrowing her eyes.

“You know I can’t,” he said. She fell silent. He counted to twenty and decided to move on to practical matters. “These conditions are not ideal for either of us, but I will do what I can to make your stay a pleasant one. I apologize for the lack of a refresher within the cage. Hux had… different plans in mind when he put you here. I have already ordered that they modify your cell to include both a refresher and a privacy screen.” He glared at the reminder of how depraved and perverted Hux had been in setting this up.

Rey looked at him curiously. “This wasn’t your idea?”

He shook his head. “I don’t see that there’s a better option where you are not helping the Resistance, but I did not want to become your jailor. And before you plot to steal my lightsaber or otherwise kill me, know that Hux has numerous fail-safes to ensure your death if I die or am otherwise incapacitated, and he will not have the same reservations that I have against destroying your friends.” 

Rey’s disappointment was palpable, and he smirked at how predictable she was in that regard, at least.

“Let me know if there’s anything you need. I will release you when I am here so that you may have some freedom. I must return you to your cell before leaving, however, due to the limitations of the installed fail-safes. If you do not cooperate, you will find yourself subdued and denied this privilege in the future.”

She nodded. Kylo went to the cage and unlocked the door using a voice command combined with retinal and palm scans. He opened it and stepped away. When his back was towards her, she spoke again. “You mentioned that Hux had different plans in mind. What were they?”

Kylo froze with apprehension. Though she had questioned him regarding how she had come to be here, he knew he had already lost the companionship they had briefly found before Snoke’s death. He may as well have her hatred. Furthermore, while he did not doubt his self-control, he knew that seeing her disgust would be a healthy reminder of what he could never have. “Hux wants me to sleep with you.”

He heard a sharp intake of breath from behind her and felt the flood of fear wash through her and then dissipate hesitantly. “You won’t force me,” she said with feigned bravo. 

She actually feared he might rape her. Kylo trembled with disgust at both the idea and her lack of faith in him.

“Of course not,” he said harshly. He may be a monster, but he was not that kind of monster. Mortification swept through her at his response, and he sighed, relieved that she realized how ridiculous her question had been. 

An awkward silence passed between them during which she made no effort to leave the cage she had been put in. 

“I’ll be working in my private office through that door,” he said and gestured. “The outer door should be the only locked door. You may do what you like within my quarters. Feel free to borrow some clothes from my closet and use the refresher while I’m working. I’ve ordered some fresh clothes for you, but I don’t know when they will arrive. If you need anything else, let me know.”

“Kylo,” she said. He paused, feeling both victory and dismay that she used the name he had chosen instead of Ben now. “I don’t want to be left alone.”

Kylo looked sharply to where she stood just inside the cage exit. Did she want to drive him mad? She couldn’t possible want him to stay. “What do you desire?” he asked, and he felt his rage at being teased lacing his words.

Rey retreated a step and looked down, as if thinking. “A friend. Here. Either Leia Organa or Finn.”

Kylo stared at her darkly. “I’ll see what I can do.”

He stepped inside his office, closed the door, and yelled out his rage and pain, sweeping the well-stacked papers off his desk and throwing his chair against the wall before slumping to the floor against his desk. What had Hux been thinking, putting her here with him?

He sighed and started righting the mess of fallen papers with the force before standing and righting the chair himself. He sat down and started going through the stack of invoices, requests, and all the other little annoying things that needed approval within the First Order. He also had Rey’s request to deal with.

He grabbed his com. “Send General Hux to my quarters.” He had much to say to his second in command.


	4. Chapter 4

When the buzz went off indicating that Hux was waiting to be let in, Kylo Ren left his study to see what Rey was up to. He found her completely cocooned in the black comforter on his bed. “Rey?” he said, not sure what to make of the scene.

She pulled the blanket tighter around her form.

“I have a guest. You need to return to the cage temporarily for me to let him in,” he explained.

Her left leg slid out from under the blanket mound to step on the ground and was soon followed by her other leg. She walked back inside the cage and sat down on the cot inside without a word. He frowned and reached out with the force for insight. Immediately, he was met with an immense sensation of coziness. Ah. He had forgotten how few creature comforts she had experienced. He smiled sadly. No wonder she was reluctant to part with his comforter.

He closed and locked the cage without a word and went to admit Hux. The door lock now required several biometric scans to prove that he authorized it, so it took a moment, but the door opened.

Hux entered, and his eyes immediately went to the cage where Rey sat wrapped in his bedding. “Ren, have you slept with her already?” he asked, wide-eyed.

Kylo massaged his brows. “Of course not. I let her wander while I did some work in my office, and that’s how I found her when I came back out.” He watched as the blanket shifted and Rey’s hazel eyes appeared through a gap.

Hux’s jaw dropped. “You let her wander your rooms unattended?”

“I saw no reason not to. You assured me that she couldn’t escape,” Kylo reminded him.

“She can’t, but that doesn’t mean she won’t try to kill you!” Hux spat. Kylo felt oddly touched that his red-headed general cared, though his objective was likely the well-being of the First Order.

Kylo gazed at Rey as he said, “She won’t kill me. However, the bars wouldn’t stop her if she decided to.” Her eyes darted to his with a flicker of surprise, and he smirked. Either she hadn’t known the strength of her own powers or hadn’t known that he knew. It didn’t matter. She would have killed him on the Supremacy if she really wanted him dead.

Hux fumed next to him. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Kylo Ren hoped so too. “More so than you, apparently. You put her here without privacy, spare clothes, or a place to relieve herself.”

Hux sneered. “You’re supposed to claim her to clear your head, Ren, not dress her up and play doll with her.”

Kylo glared right back at Hux. “She is a formidable opponent and deserves both our courtesy and respect, Hux.”

“Hux?” Rey said. They both turned to her, and she let the blanket fall around her shoulders like a black robe as she studied the general. She looked like a sith, and her dark expression and narrowed eyes did nothing to dispel the idea. “He’s Hux? The one you said would replace you if you died?”

“Yes,” Kylo confirmed. The air rippled as Rey pulled into the force. The very air was electric with the tension coming from her, and though he knew he should fear her, he was too fascinated to intervene with whatever was coming.

Within seconds, Hux gasped, doubled over, and grabbed his head, moaning. “No, stop! Stop it! She’s in my head! Stop her, Ren!”

Kylo gaped at Rey. He had not expected her to be so ruthless, though he wasn’t sure why. She had always been the one to attack first. _Aren’t you a Jedi?_ He said to her through the force. He felt her hesitate and split her attention to him. Next to him Hux took a deep breath as she eased up slightly. _Generally speaking, mind invasion is a tool of the dark side._

She flinched and withdrew immediately.

Hux collapsed, struggling for breath. “Kill her at once, Ren!”

Kylo gave Hux a disdainful look. “I will not murder her to satisfy your injured pride. Lick your wounds elsewhere. We’ll discuss this later.”

Kylo unlocked and opened the exit for Hux. Hux glared at Kylo before briefly glancing in terror at Rey and slipping out the door. Kylo closed the door again and sighed. That would be a mess to untangle later.

“What did you learn?” he asked Rey without preamble. She didn’t answer him. He looked at her and found her watching him. “You searched the mind of my second-in-command. Are you thankful you spared me on the Supremacy?”

“Yes,” she said. “He’s vile.”

Kylo considered her. “And I’m not?”

She didn’t answer him.

Kylo frowned, went to the cage, and opened it. She still had his comforter wrapped around her and was idly fingering the fabric where she sat on the cot. It reminded him of a newborn reassuring itself of its mother’s presence. “You can keep the blanket. I’ll request a replacement.”

He paused, wondering if he should keep talking to her. He had promised to avoid her in the bond, but this was not the bond, and there were things to discuss. “Hux overseas mission details, which includes prisoner management. I could override him to provide you visits with your friends, but it would cause problems, especially since you invaded his mind just now. I’ll see if I can’t smooth it over quickly and get FN-2187 in to see you.”

“Not your mother?” Rey asked. He shook his head. “You haven’t seen her, have you?” Kylo said nothing, but he felt the pain and shame of what he had done to his mother creep over his heart again like a frigid, wet blanket. ”You’re afraid.”

He was afraid. He was afraid of many things.

“Rey, I can provide you some texts on the force for the meantime. Might help you learn more about… all of it. I know you didn’t have much time with Luke. It would be better than nothing, and it would help pass the time.”

He went to a nearby screen, unlocked it, and entered a request for a few of the introductory books on the force to be downloaded, printed, and delivered to his quarters. He did not trust that she wouldn’t discover how to hack a reader to take over the ship if he gave her one.

“You don’t plan to ask me to be your student again?” she said.

He half-chuckled at that. “I know when I’ve lost, Rey. Before the Supremacy, I had hoped… but it doesn’t matter now.” He wondered what he would do with her when the Resistance was finally destroyed. Would it be safe to free her then?

“Did Hux think that you might still succeed in recruiting me if you slept with me?”

Kylo froze and stared at her in confusion. “How did you come to that conclusion?”

Rey puffed her cheeks in annoyance. “Why does Hux want you to sleep with me?”

Ah. He decided to pull her leg, much like he had done when she asked why he hated his father. “Because he wants to breed an army of force babies.”

Rey scoffed at that. “No, he doesn’t. I saw inside his head. He would be happy if all force users were annihilated.”

“Then ask me the right question,” he said.

“Why does Hux--”

“No,” he interrupted.

“Why do you--”

“No.”

Rey glared at him, but calmed herself with several careful breaths. He felt her reach into the force and let it guide her. “Why am I alive if you’ve given up on recruiting me?”

“That is the right question.”

“Then answer it,” Rey insisted.

“No.”

“That’s not fair!” Rey protested.

Kylo shrugged. He didn’t see any point in telling her how deeply his infatuation with her ran. It would only give her more reason to reject him and leave them both more uncomfortable.

“Kylo? You know that, as long as I live, I’ll be trying to stop you from destroying the Resistance, right?” she asked after a moment. “If you ever free me… and if I discover a way to escape, I may still destroy you.”

There it was. Another reminder that she didn’t care about him, even if he didn’t tell her how much he wished things were different. “I know. I’ve been wondering: Why did you spare me on the Supremacy?”

Rey answered immediately. “I trust the force, and the force willed it.”

What a perfectly jedi thing to say. He had hoped his suspicions of her apathy towards him were wrong, but there was the confirmation. He ground his teeth against the wave of aching disappointment and hurt and left for his office without a word.


	5. Chapter 5

Kylo Ren stayed in his office as much as possible the rest of the day. He had to return Rey back to her cage for the admission of the requested books, meals, clothes for Rey, and the construction crew, which hastily made some changes to provide Rey a refresher and a curtain for privacy at Kylo’s instructions before leaving. She was in a different spot in his quarters each time and received the clothes, books, and meals without a word. The construction crew had been so nervous to be in the same room as her that Kylo escorted her into his office until they finished, where she sat reading one of her new books and ignoring Kylo entirely.

Kylo conducted his business via the com, projector, and screen systems, but he did not leave his quarters. Part of him was terrified that Hux had forgotten something that would allow Rey to escape. Another part of him was simply reluctant to be far from her, even though they did not interact and were nearly always in separate rooms. Furthermore, Kylo did not trust that one of Hux’s fail-safes might not “malfunction” while he was gone and kill Rey. The general was still quite upset and had been adamantly insisting that Kylo reconsider whether she was worth keeping alive.

The day wrapped up, and Kylo began to get ready for bed. By now, Rey had showered and was dressed in clean, simple, loose black pants and a sleeveless grey shirt. Her breast bindings were visible in the armpit holes, and he wondered that she could be comfortable sleeping like that, but he said nothing. Perhaps she intended to remove them after pulling her privacy curtain closed. She certainly didn’t seem concerned by them where she was stretched out reading on his bed. 

“You like the bed,” he said as he pulled out clothes for his own shower.

Rey put a finger on the page she was reading and turned her head to look behind her at him. “It’s a bed. It’s soft.”

“The cot’s not soft?” he asked. He went up to the cage, reached through the bars, and felt the cot. It was foam over a hard surface with little cushion. Even the pillow was flat and uncomfortable.

Rey shrugged. “It’s softer than what I had on Jakku, except the pillow. I saved up for a pillow there. Nearly starved for it, but it was worth it.”

Kylo furrowed his brows. Rey was almost acting like… well, the Rey he had briefly gotten to know while she was with Luke Skywalker. The Rey he had killed the Supreme Leader to protect. He didn’t know what to make of it. “You take the bed. I can sleep on the floor.”

Rey gave him a curious look. “You won’t be locking me in while you sleep?”

“Should I?” he asked. They gazed at each other, both keeping their faces expressionless. Rey looked away first.

“I don’t think that I would have trusted you as much if our positions were reversed,” Rey said. 

Kylo didn’t comment on that. He had no idea what he would do if he were her personal prisoner in the Resistance. It was beyond his imagination. He doubted he would survive long in that scenario. The Resistance was not built on discipline like the First Order. He would likely be murdered even if his mother ordered no harm.

“Do you need anything for bed before I enter the shower?” Kylo asked. Rey shook her head, and he went into the refresher. It was odd taking a shower knowing she was in his room. He had fantasized about her in the shower more than a few times in the last month, and yet he knew nothing would come of this other than a night of poor sleep. Maybe he could order a second regular bed put in for tomorrow night.

He normally slept without a shirt on, but he put one on anyway. It would help insulate him from the floor, and he didn’t want Rey to think he was pushing anything given the context of their earlier conversations. He toweled off his hair and wrapped it up before stepping out. 

Rey was sitting on the edge of the bed. She looked up and snorted. “What is that?” she asked.

“What?” he said and looked around.

“Your hair… it’s got a turban… a badly-wrapped one. Do you sleep like that?” she asked.

Kylo realized she was talking about the towel, and he pulled it off and held it up so she could see what it was. “Just a small trick to help dry off the hair after getting clean. Here, watch me.” He pulled the towel around his shoulders under his hair, folded it over to his forehead, twisted each end, and placed the twisted ends on top of each other on his head.

“Let me try,” she said. Kylo tossed the damp towel to her, and she caught it. A few seconds later, she had her own hair wrapped up. “I wish I had known about this a few weeks ago. Do you know how many shirts I’ve had to change through to keep my back from itching after it gets wet from my hair? I knew there had to be something I was missing, but I didn’t know how to ask… Everyone just assumes that because I’m a jedi and Luke’s student that I know everything, and I don’t. I hardly know anything.”

It was more than Kylo heard from her in nearly a month, and he just gazed at her until he remembered what she had said. “You know scavenging, and because of scavenging, you know ships. I saw what you did to save the Falcon. You outdid my father on repairing his own ship. Do you know how rare that is?”

Rey bit her bottom lip against a grin. “Pretty rare?”

“Very. He and Chewie were the only ones who made repairs on that ship. Whether he was trying to hide his illegal upgrades or simply didn’t trust anyone else to do a good job, he never let anyone else take a wrench to it. But you outdid him, and you impressed him so much that he invited you to be part of his crew.”

Her smile stretched from ear to ear now, and she no longer tried to restrain it. “He did, didn’t he.” She pulled the towel free from her hair and tossed it back to Kylo, who caught it. “Thanks,” she said, and her happiness faded from her face. “Um, I was thinking while you were in the shower, and I don’t feel right taking your bed while you sleep on the floor.” She took a deep breath and forced herself to look at him. “The other day, we were in a similar situation through our bond, and we had shared the bed, though only briefly. Maybe we should do that tonight?”

Kylo’s heart pounded in his chest. This wasn’t a bond where she was really in her bed and would disappear randomly. This was different. “This isn’t a good idea, Rey. I move in my sleep,” he said.

Rey shrugged. “Okay.”

It wasn’t okay. “You don’t understand,” Kylo said. Should he just say that he sometimes dreamed of making love to her? “Rey, I can't control what I dream about, and if you're there when I dream about being with a woman, I might not realize what I'm doing.”

Dismay hit him through the force from Rey, and she looked away. He blushed, embarrassed to admit he had such dreams to her, but was relieved she understood now.

“I'll wake you.” Her eyes locked on his, and he felt her swell with some emotion… compassion? Protectiveness? For him? “I won't let you touch me when you're dreaming about someone else.”

“That's not…” he said and paused. What good would correcting her do?

“That's not what?” Rey asked.

Better to change the focus. Kylo studied her. “You don't have these dreams?”

She shrugged. “It's happened, but pretty rarely. I try not to think about it, since pregnancy on Jakku would have been a death sentence.”

Kylo frowned with disgust. “That planet should be blasted out of space.”

“Don't say that!” Rey exclaimed. “It wasn't all bad.”

“You were abandoned there for drink, left to scavenge or starve, were constantly having to avoid the advances of that disgusting creature who cheated you out of rations in the hope you might offer him something more than the junk you collected… you had no friends, no kindness, and next to no food. It was awful.”

Rey glared at him. “It was my home!”

“You deserved better!” 

The force shimmered with the tension between them. Kylo wasn't sure when they had moved, but they now stood facing each other a foot apart, hands clenched into fists, baring teeth at each other.

“You may be used to throwing things away at the first sign of imperfection, but not me. I don't take what I have for granted. I'm a scavenger, remember? If I see value in discarded junk, I claim it, clean it off, polish it up, and make the best of it, no matter what it is or how poor its condition.”

“Just like you scavenged my stormtrooper, my family, my lightsaber, and my teacher?” Kylo asked. The irony had not escaped him.

“Yes. Just like I tried to scavenge you after everyone else had lost hope. You gave up on yourself and everyone around you because they weren't perfect,” she said, and her anger sizzled out as a heavy sadness replaced it. She sniffed and wiped her eyes. “You gave up on me just because I cared about the Resistance, and then I gave up on you too. I hate it. I hate that I call you Kylo now instead of Ben. I wanted to believe so badly.”

Kylo watched the tears stream down her face, wishing he could ease her pain even as he grappled with his fury at her obstinance. Furthermore, she was finally opening up to him again only to share that she wished he were someone he was not. “We should get some sleep.”

He walked around Rey to the bed, fixed the sheets and comforter that had been left askew by Rey, and climbed in on the left side. By that time, Rey had cleaned up her face in the bathroom and climbed in opposite to Kylo. He knew without looking that she had her back to him, just as he had his back to hers.

Rey sighed deeply. “Was I wrong to give up?” she asked.

Kylo rolled onto his back and looked at her. “I'm not Ben, Rey. I'm not sure he ever existed, but that doesn't mean I can't do good, and it doesn't mean I don't regret how I acted after Snoke's death. If the First Order hadn't been in such desperate need of leadership, I would have likely destroyed myself too.”

Rey’s breath hitched behind him, and suddenly he was looking at her panicked eyes. Her face was so close he felt her breath on him.

“Let me hold you, please,” Rey said.

Kylo nodded slightly, and turned towards her.Rey scooted closer. She slid her arms around his waist and tucked her head up against his chest with her ear over his heart. Only her legs remained separate from him.

Kylo gazed down at her brown hair and tiny form tucked in against him, and he wrapped an arm around her on reflex. This, he decided, was heaven, and everything else was made hell in contrast.

“Thank you for being here,” Rey said. He could feel the vibrations of her words through his chest, and his heart trembled at the intensity of the moment. “That's strange,” she said.

“What's strange?”

“You feel safe. I think I could fall asleep like this.”

Sleep was tugging at Kylo too despite everything, as if the force itself willed him to rest. He closed his eyes and drifted off to the steady sound of Rey's gentle breathing in his arms.


	6. Chapter 6

Kylo woke to a warm body in his arms and a finger trailing down his jawline. He opened his eyes and found Rey studying his chin intently.

“It’s bristly,” Rey said. “Your face. It’s bristly.” She rubbed her thumb against the bristles on his chin as if to emphasize her point.

Kylo stared at her, half wondering if she were somehow drugged or drunk despite her lack of access to such things. “I haven’t shaved since this morning.” He gazed at Rey, who was still wrapped in his left arm with her head resting on his left shoulder. “You’re comfortable touching me like this?”

“Don’t you feel it? Let the force flow through you.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her but did as she suggested. Instead of directing the force to his will as he usually did, he opened himself to the force’s pull. Immediately, he felt enveloped in an overwhelming sense of safety and _right_ , like watching a puzzle piece fall into place. “I feel it,” he said. “It’s peaceful.” He closed himself off, distrusting the nature of the force’s guidance, and found himself disgusted that Rey would so blindly follow it. He freed his left arm from Rey and sat up to create some space between them. “It's wrong.”

Rey sat up as well with her legs beneath her so they faced each other on the bed, and her face twisted with… what was that? Embarrassment? Frustration? Hurt? He didn't dare reach back into the force to be certain.

“You're right. I shouldn't have touched your face while you slept.”

Kylo groaned. “You're missing the point. Stop relying on the force for everything! What do you want to do?”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. “I want to trust the force.”

Kylo glared at her. “Are you so desperate to become a proper little Jedi that you're jumping in bed with your enemy just because the force told you to?”

“You're not my enemy!” Rey protested.

“I'm Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order! I destroyed Luke's jedi academy. I killed your hero and my father, Han Solo. I demanded the deaths of you and everyone you loved in the Resistance on Crait. Even now, you're my prisoner. Tell me, Rey. How am I not your enemy?” Kylo’s heart beat furiously in the silence following his outburst. He hadn’t meant to say all that. He didn’t want to discourage her, and yet he didn’t regret it. He didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding this time as to exactly how monstrous he was. He couldn’t bear the disappointment twice.

Rey's eyes shined with tears, and her posture sank as she looked down. “I don’t know. Everyone thinks I’m crazy for risking my life for you, and they’re convinced you were using me to take down Snoke. Most of the time, I was too. But then I remembered how you tried to be kind, how you wanted to teach me, how you listened when I had no one else, and how you saved me. I remembered that your offer was not to serve you, but to be at your side, and I wanted to believe that it’s not too late for you. I still want to believe.”

Kylo’s heart was thick with emotion. “It’s too late for Ben Solo, Rey.”

She looked up at him with those piercing eyes of hers. “Is it too late for Kylo Ren, too?” she asked. He inhaled so deeply his chest hurt. No one had ever offered to care about him as Kylo Ren before. “The force is telling me it isn’t too late for you, so I want to trust the force.”

Hope was blooming so fast in Kylo’s heart that he didn’t know what to do with himself, and yet what she said didn’t quite make sense. “You said you gave up on me. Was that not the force?”

Rey shook her head. “The force stayed my hand on the Supremacy. The force had never given up on you. I was the one who had given up.” She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

Kylo didn’t know what to say. He could hardly think through his shock at what he was hearing. He took her hand in his, wiped it with the hem of his shirt, and kept his own hand tightly wrapped around hers.

“I didn’t know what to do about our force bond. Your mother, when she found out, ordered me to ignore you as much as possible when we connected to avoid leaking information to you. Some of the leadership wanted me imprisoned… even Poe, who I thought would be more understanding than that after all the good things Finn had said about him. And everyone kept telling me that you only reached out to me to manipulate me, and I... ” Rey paused, catching her breath. She looked down at their joined hands, and then looked up at him again with surprise in her eyes.

Kylo cleared his throat. “I am a monster, Rey. Never doubt that.” He glanced down to their joined hands. “However, where you were concerned, I never really thought past how much I wanted to be beside you. I offered to teach you because I wanted you near. The offer to rule at my side was no different. I am mostly darkness, but where you exist within my heart, there is overwhelming light.”

“Your conflict within is me?” Rey asked.

“Not all of it,” Kylo admitted. Killing his father had burned Han Solo’s light into his heart. His mother’s love still flickered within, and his desire to not cause suffering. For though he was often cruel and ruthless out of necessity, he was not sadistic. He did not enjoy hurting others. Still, Rey’s light was the only conflict that consistently threatened to overwhelm him. “Yours is the brightest.”

They were silent, and Kylo found himself rubbing his thumb along the back of her hand. When they had touched hands through their bond a month ago, her skin had been rough and calloused. Now it was softer and smoother, and he wondered at the change.

“Rey, what do you want?” Kylo asked, repeating his earlier question. He knew she wouldn’t give him the same answer as before.

“I want to believe that we can be something other than enemies,” Rey said.

“I would like that,” Kylo said. She smiled brightly at him, and he smiled gently back. He wanted to kiss her hand, but he still wasn’t sure what she wanted from him. Something other than enemies could mean a lot of things, and he was thankful to have even this much.

Rey yawned, which reminded Kylo that it was still the middle of their sleep cycle.

“Let’s get back to sleep,” he said and released her hand to lie down on the bed. Rey followed suit, and he tucked the covers back up over them. This time, they faced each other, and if Kylo wasn’t mistaken, Rey was closer to him.

Rey looked away a moment with her face screwed up in concentration, as if facing an internal battle, and then closed the distance between them to wrap herself in his arm and return her head to rest on his shoulder as it had been when they woke up earlier.

 _Is this okay?_ She asked through the force.

He smirked that she must have felt too shy to ask out loud. _It’s okay._ He replied. _You can even go back to feeling my bristly face._

He felt Rey smile against his shoulder, and she gave his chin a good-natured stroke before letting her hand rest loosely on his opposite shoulder.

_Really, you can touch me anywhere you want._

Rey stiffened in his arms, and Kylo cursed himself. He hadn’t meant to broadcast that thought, and now she would surely…

Intense curiosity blossomed through the force from Rey, and Kylo gasped.

“Anywhere?”


	7. Chapter 7

“Anywhere?” Rey asked Kylo.

Rey had tucked herself into Kylo's left arm in his bed just a minute before he accidentally shared that she could touch him anywhere. He had initially been terrified of her reaction, but she had responded with intense curiosity and at least a hint of mischief.

Still, Kylo did not trust himself to say anything. It was safer to wait and see what Rey did. After all, Rey was always doing something.

He didn't have to wait long. Within half a minute, Rey had twisted onto her belly and had dragged her body up along his in one quick motion to prop her right elbow above his head on his pillow. He tilted his head back to look up at her as she smiled down at him.

“What are you doing?” Kylo asked.

“Touching anywhere I want,” Rey said, and she gently spread the fingers of her left hand into his hair above his forehead. “You said it was okay, right?”

“I did,” Kylo said. He had no objection to having his hair stroked. However, Rey's position left her chest hovering over his face, and he was now very aware that her breast wrap had been removed underneath her tunic before bed. He licked his lips as one of the soft mounds brushed his face and wondered if she was doing this intentionally or truly too dense to realize what she was doing. Regardless, he was now growing quite hard from the teasing, and he was losing his ability to restrain himself from licking the tunic-covered nipple hanging just a couple inches from his mouth. “This permission I gave you to touch whatever you want. Is it reciprocated?”

Rey stopped her investigation of his hair and looked back down at him. He saw the moment she registered his desire and the proximity of his mouth to her breasts. Her eyes glazed, her jaw dropped just a touch, and she licked her own lips.

She knew his desire, and she did not move away. His heart pounded within his chest. Still, he waited.

 _Do it._ Rey said.

Slowly, so that Rey had plenty of time to change her mind, Kylo arched his neck to bring his mouth to her left breast and gave it a chaste kiss through her tunic. Rey gasped, her hand tightened a grip in his hair, and the nipple hardened through the cloth.

 _More._ She said.

Kylo gave it another chase kiss, and Rey squirmed against him, pressing her pelvis against his left arm, which had become trapped underneath when she scooted up.

More. Rey demanded again, and she lowered the breast against his mouth and spread her legs to position his arm between them. Kylo opened his mouth and carefully slid his tongue across the nipple once, wetting the cotton of her tunic in the process. Rey gasped, ground against his trapped arm, and shoved her breast into him.

 _You're quite excited._ Kylo said, grinning as Rey glared at him. _You're sure you won't regret this later?_

Rey ground against him again. _There won't be a baby if we stay clothed, it won't hurt anyone, and it feels good. What's there to regret?_

Kylo had forgotten how simple Rey's world was compared to his. He had grown up surrounded by complex social rules and expectations on what should or should not happen between people. Rey's only rules were those she had developed for her survival.

Still, he did not want to continue if she were comfortable doing such things with just anyone. He would regret it then, even if she didn't.

 _Is this your first time being touched like this?_ He asked, trying to broach the issue indirectly.

 _Why are you holding back?_ Rey asked. He could sense her confusion and a growing apprehension.

Kylo sighed inwardly. Perhaps the direct approach would be best. _Are there other people you would do this with? I need to know._

Rey gazed at him. _You're the only one I trust to see me like this._

Her statement wasn't exactly a confession of love or dedication, but Kylo relaxed in the knowledge that he was the only one for her. It was enough.

Though it was crude and totally different from the holos he had seen, he opened his mouth to her breast again to suck and nibble her tunic-covered breast. Rey moaned and ground urgently against his arm, tightening her grip in his hair to almost painful levels, though it was nothing to the pain of his unattended erection. He wondered if Rey would notice or mind if he took it in his free hand while he kissed her breast.

 _I need more._ Rey said, and she pulled her left breast free of him to replace it with her right. _Please, Kylo. Help me._

His own needs could wait. Kylo growled and went to work at it while bringing up his free hand to hold and tease her left breast through the shirt. Rey developed a rhythm to her grinding, now rolling her pelvis in steady quick circles against his trapped arm. He could feel her dampness through her pants, and he longed to kiss her lips, but he took what he was offered and pinched her left breast through the shirt.

 _More!_ She cried in desperation.

Kylo thought quickly. He could not pull her shirt up with how it was pinned between them, but her armpit holes were rather large. He broke free of her to yank the offending fabric over her left breast and took it back into his mouth with nothing separating the contact this time. Rey moaned hard, and her whole body shuddered erratically as she pressed down hard against his arm.

Less. Rey instructed as she exhaled deeply and relaxed against his side. Her grip in his hair became limp, and Kylo turned his head with her to keep her breast in his mouth. He had slowed his exploration of her nipple, but he loved the feel and taste of it against his tongue, and he was reluctant to let go, especially when his own erection was still demanding attention. If Rey noticed, she didn’t say anything. He moved his other arm to wrap around her waist and wondered if she might allow him to grind against her. He drew his tongue in slow, wide circles around her nipple as he waited for her to recover.

“What was that?” she asked. Her voice cracked with wonder. “I felt like I was... “ She paused. “Almost like I had touched a live battery, but different, and good somehow. Not good… more like amazing.”

Kylo smiled. _I believe you just had an orgasm._

“A what?” Rey asked, and she looked down at his mouth on her bare breast. “Wait, what are you doing?”

_Enjoying you. Should I stop?_

Fear rippled through Rey. “What if I get pregnant?” she asked.

Kylo stopped and let go to look at her properly. “How?” he asked. “It’s impossible from what we just did.”

“But when you take clothes off, there’s a chance of pregnancy!” Rey protested.

He shook his head in disbelief. “You don’t know how that works?” he asked and immediately regretted it as Rey’s face crumpled. Of course, she didn’t know. Who would have taught her? She had only understood ships from the manuals left behind with their ships by the Empire. She wasn’t likely to have had access to books on biology. “Rey, a woman can’t become pregnant unless a man ejaculates sperm from his penis inside her vagina.”

Rey’s eyes immediately went to his own manhood, and they widened as she took in the shape and size of his erection. “You’re not normally like that, are you?” she asked.

Kylo Ren struggled not to growl his frustration at her. “It’s called an erection. It just means that blood has rushed to the penis, making it harder and thicker. It’s what happens when men are aroused.”

Rey reached a hand down and stroked his erection experimentally through his pants. Kylo tensed at the contact, light as it was. She raised her eyebrows when it bounced back after she let go.

Kylo had said she could touch anywhere he wanted, but he hadn’t expected it to go like this. “Do you want to see it too?” he asked, intending to mock her, but he realized his mistake when she nodded. He shook his head. “Another time. I think I need to take a shower.” He needed to relieve his own tension, and he didn’t think he could while Rey was watching with avid curiosity.

He climbed out of bed and stood up. “Rey, you don’t need to fear. You could not become pregnant from what we did, and there are several methods to prevent pregnancy entirely as well.” He debated whether to offer them outright. Was it presumptuous to assume Rey might want to have sex with him later after what just happened? What had just happened, anyway? Was it just an exploration of curiosity and carnal needs?

He gazed back at Rey, who gazed back with wide eyes. What happened next didn’t matter yet. He would find out when she decided what she wanted. “Get some sleep, Rey,” he said, and he left for the refresher.


	8. Chapter 8

Rey was practicing her forms with the red lightsaber when Kylo woke up. He stretched and scratched the back of his neck, freeing the hairs that had glued to his neck in his sleep. She glanced at him when he sat up, but continued her routine. He drank in the image. She had changed into fresh clothes at some point and put her breast bindings back on. He thought back on last night and smirked. She was wild and beautiful, and she somehow had his lightsaber.

“I had that locked away,” Kylo said.

Rey swung gracefully at the cage and stopped a split hair short of cutting the steel beam. “I know.”

He watched her swing some more. She had unexpectedly good form given her shortage of training, but then, he had long suspected she may have borrowed from his own training through their link. He had found himself better-informed on ship and droid specs than he had been before Snoke connected them. It was only sensible to assume the knowledge and skills exchange went both ways. Yet, last night was clear evidence that she was still quite naive to some things.

He watched her another minute or so then made his way to the refresher to get dressed for the day. Hux would be apoplectic if he knew Kylo had left Rey alone with his lightsaber, but Kylo didn't see a reason to fear while he got ready for the day. She would have already killed him if she had wanted to. After last night, he wasn’t sure she even wanted to leave.

He came out to find Rey meditating on his bed. The lightsaber was on a nightstand. He picked it up and attached it to his belt. “Sleep well?” he asked. After his shower last night, she had curled up against him again before falling asleep.

A light blush spread across her cheeks. “No nightmares.”

He smiled. “Me either.” They both knew how rare having no nightmares was for them. “Would you like to keep sharing my bed? I can have a second bed delivered if you prefer to sleep alone.”

Rey opened her eyes and gazed at him. “There’s no need.” She frowned and looked down. “Unless you don’t want me in your bed.”

Kylo’s heart swelled until it hurt. “I want you there,” Kylo said softly.

Rey looked back up at him, and they gazed at each other. “There’s so much I don’t know,” Rey said. 

Kylo smirked. “You need a teacher,” he said, quoting the words he had said to her several times now regarding the force.

Rey laughed softly. “I guess I do.”

Kylo nodded and wondered that he could find anyone so beautiful. “I’ll get you some holos to watch that should explain things while I work in the office, and afterward you can let me know if you have any questions.” He gazed at her once more before heading into his office.

Once inside, he checked his messages on the com, ordered breakfast, requested delivery of the standard biology lessons provided to all stormtroopers at puberty, and received lengthy updates from a testy Hux on First Order business via holo. When the First Order business concluded, Hux eyed Kylo.

“She didn't kill you in your sleep,” Hux said. 

Kylo suppressed a smile at the memory of what had happened in the night. “I said she wouldn’t. She could have… easily, but she didn’t.”

Hux’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t find that suspicious?”

“Not at all,” Kylo said. “She likes me, Hux. She doesn't want to kill me anymore than I want to kill her.”

Hux raised an eyebrow. “Surprising. You seem rather confident in her affections now.” Kylo blushed. “I see. The girl pretends to be attracted to you, and you completely lowered your guard.”

“It’s not like that, Hux,” Kylo growled. 

“If it’s not like that, then what is it like?” Hux asked.

“It’s none of your business what she and I do together. Suffice it to say that Rey is not one to pretend affection or attraction. She is innocent in that regard.”

“But that does not mean she is not plotting something. How do you know that the girl is not in contact with your mother? That is a thing those jedi can do, is it not?”

Kylo sneered. “My mother is no jedi. She’s barely force-sensitive.”

“But can she communicate across distances through the force?”

Kylo took a breath and let it out while he considered it. “She has not done so with me… at least not with words. We can sense each other’s presence when reaching out into the force… sense each other’s emotions, know where the other’s located, but not quite talk in the way that would be necessary for planning.” He paused, considering. “I’ll look into it.”

“Good. I have another issue to address with you. I received a notice that the cage was not locked last night.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at Hux. “She was in my bed. Is that a problem?”

“Yes, having a security risk wander freely while you sleep is a problem, Ren,” Hux growled. “What will you be doing next? Sharing your lightsaber?”

Kylo did not dare speak, but Hux recognized the unsaid confession.

“You’re kidding me, right?” Hux said.

“I had it locked away like you asked. When I woke up, she was practicing with it.”

“My plans for her containment did not include her having access to a lightsaber, Ren!”

Kylo raised an eyebrow at that. He wanted to berate Hux for having such poorly designed containment plans, but he did not want to provide Hux with motivation to reconsider Rey’s containment with him. “I’ll handle it.”

“You haven’t even left your quarters, and there's still the question of allowing her any freedom of movement within them.”

“I’ll handle it,” Kylo repeated and turned off the holo. He looked behind him, and Rey was standing in the doorway, watching. “Well?” he asked her, wondering what she had heard. She flinched, and he realized his voice had came out harsher than intended. He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“Someone’s at the door,” she said.

He closed things down at his desk as she watched, stood up, and followed her out the room. She immediately went to the cage and closed the door behind her. Kylo locked her in and leaned on the bars, gazing at her. Could she possibly be plotting against him? “Do you?” he asked.

“Do I what?”

“Do you communicate with my mother through the force?” he asked.

Rey shrugged. “Some. It’s like you described. I know that right now she’s on a planet far away. She’s not hurt, and she knows I’m not hurt, and she's thankful for it. I think she knows I’m with you. She worries about me a lot. You too. However, if she has a plan, she’s not shared it with me.”

He nodded. “And did you know you could escape with my lightsaber?”

“The force wants me to stay,” Rey said, as if that settled everything.

Kylo sighed at her insistence on blindly trusting the force. “Do you want to stay?” he asked. She stared at him. He thought of how she had curled up to him each of the three times they had settled down to sleep last night and how right it had felt. Could she really want to leave that behind?

Rey didn’t answer. 

Kylo felt his heart crack, and he realized he had to leave so he could think clearly about what was going on. Maybe Hux was right. Maybe Kylo was letting his attraction to her cloud his judgment.

Kylo checked that the cage was secure and opened the door. A stormtrooper stood with their breakfast and the requested holos along with a device to watch the holos on. Kylo dismissed the stormtrooper, closed the door, and brought the food and holo set-up to the cage. He opened the cage to set the items inside and closed it again.

“You’re not letting me out?” she asked, somewhat frantic.

Kylo shrugged. “I can’t. Something came up and I have to leave, which means you have to stay in here or we’ll set off one of Hux’s containment traps. You have everything you need though, and I’ll check in on you before long.” 

“Kylo,” Rey said as he walked towards the door. He stopped and looked at her, and she stared at him, unsaid words dying on her lips.

Kylo pursed his lips and exited his quarters.


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo threw himself into his work, but a small part of his awareness remained focused on Rey through the force. She remained in her cage. She had eaten breakfast while watching the holos, and he had sensed her curiosity and near comical shock at learning how reproduction worked. Her reaction to the mandatory masturbation tutorial had him struggling not to laugh as a lieutenant explained the advantages of the newest TIE fighter model, and he had to excuse himself rapidly to hide his mirth when Rey realized he had been watching her and let out a string of very creative curses at him that she likely had learned from Chewie.

He had left his quarters to help himself think clearly, but she remained all he thought about. Even as Rey entered a deep meditation, Kylo could not pull his thoughts away from her.

“Still obsessed, I see,” Hux said.

“Hmm?” Kylo responded. He then remembered they were in a meeting to discuss their plans to disable the Resistance beyond repair.

Hux shook his head in disgust and dismissed the subordinates. After Kylo and Hux were alone, Hux said, “You're pathetic like this, Ren.”

Kylo eyed his general, wondering how far he could trust the man. After a moment, he realized he didn't care. He would go insane if he couldn't talk to someone about this. “I think I'm in love with her.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Of course you do. You finally encounter a woman as powerful and ambitious as you, and you lose your mind with thoughts of making her your own. Well guess what, Ren. That fairy tale may be as old as time, but it always ends in tragedy!”

Kylo paused. Something in Hux's voice called out to him. “Who was it?” Kylo asked. “Who broke your heart, Hux?”

Hux seethed. “I don't have a heart, Ren.”

Overcome with curiosity, Kylo took the slightest glance into Hux's mind. There was no mistaking the woman he saw, even though he had rarely seen her out of armor. “Phasma? Seriously?”

Hux turned white with rage. “My thoughts are my own, Ren! You and that Jedi girl need to learn to stay out of my head!”

Hux stomped off, leaving Kylo alone and bemused. He had never considered the possibility that General Hux and Captain Phasma had been anything other than professional with each other, though they worked together frequently. He wondered what Phasma had done to Hux to make the man so bitter. Not that it mattered. If Phasma survived the Supremacy, she had not revealed herself.

Well, Rey and Phasma were nothing alike. Rey might have a history of trying to murder and abandon him, but she was never needlessly cruel, except when she called him a monster and accused him of hating his father. Kylo sighed. Maybe he was being a fool.

Still, he had to see this through or he would likely forever feel this conflicted and distracted.

Kylo returned to his quarters immediately, not slowing down once on the way. He would tell Rey he loved her, and then figure things out from there. 

He entered his quarters nearly breathless from having jogged there. Rey's eyes opened in alarm as he stood inside the door panting and bent over.

“What's wrong?” she asked. 

Kylo straightened up, marched to her cage, opened it, and looked her in the eyes. “I love you.”

“I know,” Rey said and met his eyes.

Kylo stared at her, dumbfounded. He had just revealed that his heart to her. “Is that it? That's all you will say?”

Rey stood and walked up to face him, never breaking the gaze. She closed her eyes then, slowly leaned forward, and kissed the spot over his beating heart, then looked back at him. “I'm still a prisoner in a cage, Kylo.”

Kylo cringed. He had nearly forgotten. “What should I do, Rey? I can't free you,” he said. He couldn't. He couldn't betray the First Order for her anymore than she could betray the Resistance for him.

“I understand,” Rey said, and he knew she was also thinking about how they were loyal to opposite sides of a war.

Kylo gazed down at her, desperate to make this better somehow. “Please, tell me, Rey. What can I do?”

“Let me see Finn. He’s here on this ship. I can sense him, and he’s terrified.”

Her voice was even and commanding, and Kylo narrowed his eyes at her, but then he sensed the waver of her lips and let the force flow through him to sense the nature of her emotions. The truth hit him in a wave. She was scared and worried for her friend, who had been isolated since his arrival. There was no desire beyond the wish to reassure him that he was not alone. She was a good friend. A better one than the traitor deserved. “I can do that for you,” Kylo said softly. 

“Thank you,” Rey whispered, and she leaned her forehead against his chest. Her gratitude and relief enveloped him like a warm blanket.

Kylo thought quickly. He could not free her, but this was another way of showing her his love. “I’ll escort himself so that he sees no harm. You will have his company from lunch until after dinner, at which point I will escort him back to his cell.”

Rey wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled him. Kylo embraced her back, enjoying the feel of her body tucked against him. “Thank you,” she said again. “I watched the holos.” He could feel her embarrassment through the force, and he wondered that he didn’t tune in to her feelings while she was experiencing pleasure from him the night before. 

“And?” he said.

“I understand why you went to the shower now. You were masturbating, right?” 

Kylo’s ears burned and he froze. She was correct, but a childhood of etiquette training under Leia Organa made such frank admissions very uncomfortable for him. Explaining the science of how one became pregnant last night to her had been bad enough.

“If I may, I would like to help next time,” Rey said.

Shock overwhelmed Kylo, and he leaned back to look down at her in his arms. “You mean it?”

Rey smiled up at him. “I do. I didn’t answer your question earlier… you asked me if I wanted to stay here. I don’t want to be your prisoner, Kylo, but I do want to be with you.” 

Kylo felt his lips stretch in a smile so broad and unfamiliar that it hurt his mouth. “I want to kiss you,” he said.

Rey’s smile faltered. “There are some things that should wait until we’re free.”

Kylo’s smile fell away. “You did not object to my kissing you last night.” He gazed down at her breasts.

Rey blushed. “You weren’t kissing my lips.”

Kylo smirked. Challenge accepted. “So I can kiss you so long as it’s not your lips?” he asked. He leaned down, pulled her hair aside, and kissed her neck behind her right ear. “Like right here?”

“Yes,” Rey breathed. She stilled in his arms, and he could feel her affection become dark with desire through the force as he carefully pulled back and then kissed behind her other ear. Her breathing became unsteady as he bent down to kiss her collarbone and the exposed gap of her tunic below it.

He ran his hands down her shoulders, down the sides of her breasts, and cupped them firmly. His hands were trembling with excitement, and he hoped she didn’t notice. “Your breast band is back on,” he noted. It was a thick piece of cloth wrapped several times.

“I’ve had a lifetime of protecting myself by making sure I stayed clothed around men,” Rey said. “Even knowing what the holos said, I don’t feel comfortable being naked with you yet.”

Kylo could respect that. He was amazed she allowed him to do as much as she had. “You want me to avoid kissing your lips, and you want to stay dressed.” He slid his hands down to her hips and noted the thin cloth of her leggings. “Should I avoid both pairs of lips?”

Rey stared at him in confusion, so he rotated his hands down her pelvis so the thumbs pressed gently above her core. Realization flowed through her, and she gently thrust forward into his hands. 

Kylo smiled at her. “We should probably move somewhere more comfortable.” He took her hand and lead her to his bed, where she stood awkwardly. “Please, sit down,” he said.

Rey sat on the edge and stared at him wide-eyed.

“You’re sure you want to do this?” he asked. The force showed that she was still hungry with desire, but she was also apprehensive.

“Last night was my first time doing anything like that with anyone, Kylo. It’s just new to me,” Rey said. “And it was really, really intense.”

Kylo sensed the unasked question and sat down on the bed beside her. “Rey, last night was my first time doing anything like that with anyone too. You’re my first.”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him. “You said you dreamed of being with women…”

“I dreamed of being with you, and only you,” Kylo said. “There’s never been anyone else. What I learned I learned from sneaking into my father’s holo collection before I got shipped off to Luke’s academy. Mother didn’t know about it. I expect she might have killed him if she found out. I wasn’t even ten yet.”

Rey’s jaw dropped, and she laughed heartily. “I imagine it was quite a shock for you then. What were you like when you were ten?”

“Awkward and gangly with an overdeveloped sense of my own self-worth,” Kylo said.

Rey showed her teeth in a feral grin. “So not much has changed,” she said. Kylo smirked and gently shoved her sideways away from him in a half-hearted protest. Rey grinned throughout it and fell into him when she righted herself, leaning into the crook of his neck.

“I am Supreme Leader of the First Order and Master of the Knights of Ren, you know, and technically the Prince of Alderaan, not that I ever stepped foot on it.”

Rey smiled gently. “I didn’t know you were a prince, but you did offer to let me rule the galaxy with you.”

“So next time I ask I should lead with my title as a prince?” Kylo teased with a smile.

Rey reached out and traced the smile on his face, though it faded with her touch into something more intense. “I’ve never seen you this relaxed and happy,” Rey said.

“You’re here,” Kylo said. He wrapped an arm around her and kissed the side of her head. “Please don’t leave me again, Rey. It nearly destroyed me to wake up in the Supremacy and discover you were gone. I don’t want to be without you.”

Rey nodded. “I can do that.”

Kylo furrowed his brow. “But the Resistance…”

Rey twisted and looked him in the eyes. “I hated what the Resistance made of my connection to you, Kylo, and I missed you too. I will stay by your side as long as you want me too, okay?”

Kylo nodded, feeling the truth of her conviction through the force. He squeezed her tighter and kissed her cheek, wondering all the while how they would make things work between them.


	10. Chapter 10

The day was finally done, and Kylo Ren could deliver Finn back to his cell and have Rey to himself for the evening. He smiled at the thought of seeing her and anticipated what they might explore together this evening. All was well in the First Order, though their plot to use his mother to bait the Resistance into an ambush had not yet come to fruition. Still, the Resistance would remain stunted while they held Rey and General Organa in captivity.

Rey and Finn were chatting quietly in the cage when Kylo returned to his quarters, but they stopped immediately on his entrance. Rey and Finn hugged as Kylo opened the cage for Finn to leave.

“See you soon,” Rey said to Finn. Kylo wondered at that, but then Rey had no reason to believe that Kylo wouldn’t allow her to see Finn again the next day. Truth be told, Kylo saw no reason not to either. If seeing her friends helped her smile, he would gladly show them to her.

Finn was uncharacteristically quiet on the way to his cell, but Kylo Ren didn’t pry. He was indulging in the memory of the laughter he had heard from Rey earlier that day when discussing his childhood. Finn went into his cell without a word, and Kylo Ren returned to Rey.

She was smiling when he came in and opened the cage for her, and she immediately hugged him tightly. “Thank you for letting Finn visit me.”

“You’re welcome,” he said and wrapped his arms around her. “It was the least I could do for you.”

Rey closed her eyes and inhaled deeply in his shirt before stepping out of his embrace. “I’m going to shower before bed, Kylo.” She bit her lip and smiled at him. “Stay up for me?”

“Of course,” Kylo said. He reached up to stroke his hand through her hair and kiss it gently before stepping aside to let her by. He waited until she was in the refresher and then punched the air in delight. Last night had been unexpected and unplanned, but clearly she intended to do more with him tonight.

Kylo quickly changed out of his day uniform into clean underwear and loose, black drawstring pants. He sniffed his armpits and was at a loss of how to clean them until he recalled that there was a mini-refresher installed in Rey’s cage. He rushed over and hastily scrubbed himself down with soap and a cloth. He debated leaving his top undressed, but after recalling her discomfort with nudity, he slipped on a matching black, short-sleeve top that would at least leave his arms exposed.

He put his lightsaber away into the lockbox even knowing she could get it out without his help, and then he turned off the coms to his room to prevent interruptions. He doubted they would go far enough to need contraceptives, but he pulled out the rubbers Hux had left him just in case, then decided it would be better not to leave them where she could see them and tucked them into a drawer in one of the nightstands.

Finally, Kylo could think of nothing else to do, and Rey was still in the shower. Normally, he was a patient man, but the anticipation of what might be coming had his nerves on edge with excitement. He had not been this nervous even when waiting for her capsule to arrive on the Supremacy after they had touched hands.

The shower water stopped, and Kylo tuned in to every sound he could hear from the refresher: Her footsteps across the floor, a towel being rubbed up and down her body, and the soft whisper of clothes being pulled on.

When she stepped out, she was not wearing her usual clothes, but one of his black short-sleeve shirts, which fell to mid-thigh on her, and no pants. Her hair was wrapped up in the loose turban he had demonstrated for her yesterday, and she was smiling nervously.

“You’re beautiful,” Kylo said.

“Thank you. I don’t know what to do about my hair. It’s still wet,” Rey said.

“Come here. I’ll towel it off for you.”

Kylo patted the bed in front of him, and Rey sat down. He gently unwrapped her hair from the towel and carefully used the towel to squeeze water from her hair in clumps, occasional taking breaks to hand-comb the tangles out.

“This feels nice,” Rey said. “I’m not sure anyone has cared for me like this before.”

Kylo paused to kiss her neck chastely. “I’d like to make those times a distant memory.” He smiled when he saw the blush run around the back of her neck, and he continued freeing her hair of excess water. “I think it’s dry enough now not to worry about it,” he said. He pulled the towel free and tossed it onto the floor. He could put it in its proper place later.

Rey leaned back against him and looked up at him. “Thank you.”

“You’re wearing my shirt,” Kylo said. He wrapped his arm around her waist and felt the material over her stomach. “It looks good on you. What exactly do you have in mind for tonight?”

Rey blushed and looked away. “I wanted to thank you.”

“For?” Kylo asked. He had seen her look away, and he was relieved for the standard tell that she was lying. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to be with him, but he was comfortable letting her use feelings of gratitude as an excuse for her to act on her desire.

“For trusting me,” Rey said and looked directly at him. “You trust me, and I want to repay that by trusting you.” She glanced down at the huge shirt on her. “I'm still nervous about being naked, but I thought it might be easier to let you touch me if it's underneath what I'm wearing.” Her voice shook as she spoke, and she clenched the hem of the shirt in tight fists.

Kylo frowned. “Rey, you don't have to force yourself for my--”

“I want to,” Rey said firmly. “I liked what you did with me. I’m a little scared, yes, but I want to try it again.” She trembled, and Kylo wondered what had happened to make her so scared. She had not been like this last night or even earlier today. Perhaps Finn had said something.

Kylo felt his rage build up, but he sighed and shook his head. Whatever the reason, she was way too nervous. “Come here. I think I should hold you before we try anything tonight.” He pulled her under the sheets with him and tucked them both in.

Rey nuzzled against him and slid her left hand down his chest and towards the hemline of his pants. Fearing it was still too soon, he wrapped his own hand around hers quickly to stop her. Immediately, he sensed sadness from her. “What is it?”

“Am I bad at this?” Rey asked.

“No,” Kylo said, though he had no idea what good or bad at this would look like. “I can feel your fear. I’m worried about you. Did Finn say something?”

Rey froze and then nodded. “He thinks I’m crazy for wanting to be with you, but it’s my choice. I want to be with you, and I want to touch you. Please, let me.”

Kylo nodded and freed her hand. He felt her rub him over the fabric of his pants, and a tremble of nervous pleasure ran through his body.

“It’s soft,” Rey said with furrowed brows. “Last night, it seemed as firm and large as your lightsaber hilt.”

Kylo choked back a laugh at the comparison. “The holos you watched should have explained why.”

“That’s right,” Rey said. Her hand stilled, as if she were at a loss. “I don't know what I'm doing.”

“Me either,” Kylo admitted. “I opened myself up to the force though for this. We do belong together.” He paused, considering her earlier promise to stay at his side. “How will this work?”

“The force will show us the way,” Rey said after a moment. She brought her hand back up to his face and stroked the stubble on his chin. “Are you growing it out?”

He had forgotten to shave this morning. “Would you like me to?”

Rey moved her leg over him, straddled his waist, and gazed down at him. “I don't know, but I'm wondering how it would look.”

“Handsome and unspeakably attractive?”

Rey smirked and leaned forward to kiss his forehead, offering him a brief glimpse of her chest through the gaping neck hole. He reached up and rested his hands on her hips. He wanted to touch and taste every inch of her, but he didn't want to startle her when she was already on edge.

“Grow out what you like. It's your hair,” she said.

“Want to stroke it again?” Kylo asked. It was a loaded question, and he could feel Rey's excitement through the force.

“If you don't mind,” Rey said.

“It would be my pleasure,” Kylo answered. He watched Rey scoot up him and brace her elbows on either side of his head. Her new position offered her breasts to him and allowed her to kiss the top of his head.

However, the oversized shirt she wore draped into his mouth, making it difficult for him to determine anything. He brought his hands up to pull the shirt taut over her. On feeling skin instead of cloth beneath his palms, he realized his mistake and pulled,his hands out of the shirt.

“No,” Rey said. “Feel me.” She leaned up on one elbow and pulled up the hem of the shirt herself to expose her breasts to him. However, instead of pulling it over her head, she let it drape down over his head, enveloping him in darkness underneath her.

“I can't see your face,” Kylo complained, though he pressed his face between her hanging globes in the darkness anyway, relishing the feel of so much of her against him.

Breathlessly, Rey said, “Use the force.”

“I want to see you,” Kylo insisted, and he felt her embarrassment.

“Please, Kylo. I want to feel good, but I'm still reconciling my desire with a lifetime of abstinence. It's easier if I don't see your face.”

Kylo frowned at the excuse, but he did not push her more. After all, there was a certain intimacy to not being watched either, and the force revealed that she was unquestionably hungry for his touch.

Like last time, he started off with a chaste kiss to each nipple, but without any cloth in the way, his lips felt them stiffen against him, and he felt himself harden in response. He kissed each again, this time using his lips to welcome them, and again, this time with his tongue. Above him, Rey moaned and started thrashing her pelvis against his abdomen as he intensified each kiss.

 _Like that, don't you?_ Kylo said through the force.

Yes. Rey answered, unabashed. He sensed a hesitation as she ground hard against him. _Earlier, you offered to kiss me below. I feel a need there now._

Kylo had made the offer, but not with any real idea of how to go about it other than get his mouth down there, and he was quite enjoying their current position. He slid his right hand down her side and realized there was no space to move it between them.

 _Lift your hips._ He instructed. Rey complied, and he cupped her over her underwear with his hand. She pressed against it immediately, and he mimicked the gesture back, hoping he was doing something right. _I don't know what I'm doing._ He felt her amusement and recalled then that those were her same words when she felt him.

 _Me either._ She said, just as he had earlier. He nibbled her gently to show his appreciation. _The holo said that sliding your fingers back and forth was a good way to start._

Kylo immediately regretted not having watched the holos himself recently, but he did as she instructed. He had not considered that their advice to her might help him pleasure her as well. She moaned harder now, and he could feel her wetness pool through the cloth to his hands. He growled at the cloth, wishing he could feel her directly.

 _Then pull it aside._ Rey said.

Kylo froze, let go of her breasts, and pulled the shirt out of the way so he could see her face. “You mean it?” he asked.

Rey's eyes were fierce with passion and something he couldn't quite recognize. Triumph? “I mean it,” she said. “Your hand can't get me pregnant. Neither can your tongue.”

“Earlier, you said-”

Rey sat up then, climbed off him, and pulled her underwear off herself. She showed the plain white piece of cotton to him before dropping it off the side of the bed. “I mean it.” She crawled towards him and pulled his shirt off. “And you don't need this either,” she said, running her hands down his chest.

“Rey,” Kylo said. He felt drunk on her boldness through the force. Something in his peripheral nagged at him too. Somewhere, Hux was angry, but he shut down that distraction to focus wholly on her. Hux could wait.

Kylo pulled Rey into his arms and hugged her fiercely before laying her down beneath him. “I love you,” he said, hoping she might let him kiss her now.

“I know,” she said, and she dodged his lips to bite his neck just enough that he moaned with excitement. He returned the favor, then pulled up her shirt to duck underneath it and again tease her as his hand traveled farther south on her.

He found her core warm, slick and wet. He experimented with stroking her until she was gyrating against him. Harder. She insisted, and so he did, pressing into her firmly as her motions became erratic and slowly stilled. He stilled with her, and wondered at how they would take care of his own growing need. He had not forgotten her earlier request to help him.

He freed himself of her shirt and gazed at her. “You're still in me,” she said. He hadn't removed his fingers.

Kylo smirked. “I like the way you feel.” Rey blushed.

Rey bit her lip, as if making some important decision. “I want to feel more of you.” She glanced down at the bulge in his pants, and Kylo trembled with anticipation and doubt. She couldn't possibly want that so soon.

Another disturbance in the force registered in the back of his mind, and he shoved it away. “What exactly do you want?” he asked.

“Take off your pants,” Rey ordered.

Kylo's hands shook so hard he actually had to try several times to get his pants off. He sat there, naked before her as she gazed at him, and wondered what she thought.

Rey took him in hand and gently stroked him. “This can get me pregnant,” she stated.

“I have rubbers,” Kylo blurted. He blushed. “They go over me so no semen can escape.” Rey screwed up her face in such confusion that Kylo lunged for the night table where he had hidden them and pulled one out. He ripped open the foil and pulled one out. “See?”

Rey shook her head, flabbergasted. “Not at all. How does it fit?”

“It stretches. Here,” Kylo said, and he began putting one on. Suddenly, he was thankful for the part of his training when Snoke had insisted with no small amount of disgust that Kylo practice equipping rubbers on phallic fruit. Snoke's logic was Kylo should be prepared to prevent procreating future adversaries should he ever succumb to passion. Well, the training was finally relevant. He finished smoothing out the rubber and flexed himself, showing off his accomplishment. Rey snorted and Kylo felt ridiculous. “That's how it works.”

There were more disturbances in the force now, and Kylo wondered if he shouldn't see what's going on instead of making a fool of himself in front of Rey. He turned to look at the door and heard Rey pulling off her shirt.

“What are you doing?” he asked, staring at her naked figure.

Rey shrugged. “I want you inside me, and putting it that way, keeping my shirt on seems a bit silly.”

Kylo's brain short-circuited. “What?” he said softly.

“Unless you don't want to.”

“I want to,” Kylo said. He ran a hand through his hair. “Are you sure you want to?”

Rey looked him in the eyes. “I want to. I won't regret it. Will you?” she asked. He sensed she was worried about something here, though he wasn't sure what.

“No, I won't regret it, but Rey, the jedi were celibate.”

“I'm no jedi, Kylo,” Rey said, and grief came with the admission, as if she had done something she regretted.

He reached for her face and caressed it. “Whatever you are, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Rey.”

These words inspired more sadness in her, and Kylo regretted saying them. He hadn't meant for her to pity him. “Rey, I love you, and I would love to be with you.”

“I love you too, Kylo,” she said, and she kissed him. The force rallied around them even as he sensed chaos beyond, and he felt her push him gently back on the bed. “I… the holo said it hurts for a moment the first time, so please don't worry if I'm in pain. It will pass.”

Kylo nodded dumbly as Rey lowered herself on him slowly, pausing every now and then to adjust. It felt amazing, and Kylo clenched the sheets to resist the urge to thrust in her before she was ready. Partway, she stopped and grimaced.

“Oh kriff it all,” she said and slammed herself down with a cry of pain that flowed through the force. Kylo stared at her wide-eyed, wishing he knew what to do beyond waiting on her recovery. “Okay, that did hurt,” she said, gazing at him in shock. “Did it hurt you?”

“No,” Kylo said. “You feel amazing on me.”

Rey smiled at that, and he drew her in for another kiss that she gladly accepted. She slowly began to move on him, and they fed off each other's desire through the force to climax together a short time later.

“I think I'm adding that to my daily itinerary,” Kylo joked as Rey rolled off him. Rey didn't smile, and suddenly Kylo sensed something was very, very wrong. “Rey?”

“I love you,” she said, looking him in the eyes. “And I'm sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Kylo asked, but even as the words left his mouth, he sensed what he had been too distracted to notice before. “The Resistance.”

Rey nodded. “They won. Hux was captured. The fleet is no longer yours to command.”


	11. Chapter 11

“They won. Hux was captured. The fleet is no longer yours to command.” Her voice was quiet as she said it.

“I don’t understand,” he said, even though that was not quite true. He did understand. Suddenly, so many things that surprised him today now made sense. Rey had done this behind his back. He just couldn’t believe it. He looked down and saw her virginal blood on him, the same blood still smeared into the sheets between them and on her own nude form. “How much?” he asked.

“What?” Rey asked. She hugged herself now, and Kylo found himself torn between his desires to comfort her, strangle her for her betrayal, and fuck her until everything else no longer mattered. All three choices involved being closer to her though, and so he crawled forward, backing her into the headboard, until he had her between and underneath him again. Rey kept her eyes on him, which was smart, because they were the only things keeping him from going mad with everything he felt.

He took her chin between two fingers and glared at her. “How much was fake?” On some level, he knew he should be interrogating her to undo her damage to the First Order, but he was certain that he could come back from any political or military blow. He could not come back from her. She gazed at him in some mix of shock or awe. He no longer trusted his judgment. He reached out to the force, but her emotions were nearly as turbulent as his own, making interpretation impossible. “Rey, tell me!”

Rey gazed at him, wide-eyed and frightened, and it reminded him of her reaction to his plea that she rule the galaxy at his side. Would she be calling for his lightsaber next? Then knocking him out and abandoning him again? He had lost completely.

Grief overwhelmed Kylo, and he tucked his head into the nook of her neck, sobbing and clinging to her as he abandoned hope. Rey wrapped her arms tightly around him, pulling him closer, and suddenly he was angry. How dare she comfort him when she did this to him!

Kylo bared his teeth in rage as the familiar need to destroy overtook his senses, and he bit down hard on the tender flesh of her neck. Rey cried out and arched into him. His cursed body hardened in response to her, but then, her own hands had moved and were now clenching his ass, trying to pull him into her.

Fine. Senseless fucking it was.

Kylo fueled all his fury into her as he slammed his way home inside her. Rey cried out again at the rough treatment, but her hands only clutched him tighter.

He pounded into her while biting her neck, occasionally licking and sucking as his desire surpassed his anger. Rey rose her hips to meet him, but she struggled against his grip on her neck, which confused him until he heard her voice in his head.

_Let me kriffing kiss you, you nerf herder!_

Kylo froze. Rey writhed underneath him, her frustration emanant through the force. He ignored this, let go of her neck, and stared at her. Her face was a mess of tears and lust. “You want to kiss me?” he asked.

“Yes!” Rey exclaimed with vehemence. Her breath hitched as she gazed at him, and in a small, cracking voice, she said, “You don't want to kiss me anymore, do you?” Tears streamed down as she said this, and she rubbed them away with the heel of her hand.

Kylo truthfully didn't know. “You betrayed me,” he said, hurt flooded him, and though he was already buried inside her, he thrust against her.

Rey gave him a scathing glare and thrusted back. “You imprisoned me.”

Kylo bristled. “I treated you kindly!”

“And I spared your life!” Rey shot back. “Finn, Poe, Chewie… even your mother thought I was insane when I said I wouldn't kill you.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes at her. “And why didn't you kill me?”

Rey glared at him. “Because I love you, you half-witted luggabeast!” she shouted, and she crumpled. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You might have thought about that before you delivered my fleet to the Resistance!” Kylo hissed. Then curiosity got the better of him, and he asked, “How did you pull this off?”

Rey’s face and voice were bleak, but she answered him. “Nearly everyone aboard this ship but you and Hux is easily influenced by force suggestions. While you were in the office yesterday, I invaded minds to learn what the First Order had planned for the Resistance. It was difficult, but it became easier. And then this morning, you gave me the idea to try talking to someone directly through the force across distances. I knew it was possible, because Snoke had done it to you, and even you and I had communicated that way at times, but I had never tried it across the galaxy before.”

Rey sighed. “It took time, but I reached your mother. I reached Poe and Chewie and Rose, who had not been captured. We made plans. I didn’t reach Finn that way, because… well, Finn is Finn, but I needed to check my theories against someone in the Resistance who also knew the First Order, which is why I asked for his company again today. We made plans and I sent out orders through the force for the stormtroopers to… well… make it easy for the Resistance when the time came.”

“But that’s not why you asked for him yesterday when you arrived?” Kylo asked. The realization they had only been together such a brief time hit him then, and he wondered that so much could happen so quickly.

“What? Oh, no,” Rey said, smiling ruefully. “I… had hoped that you would offer to stay with me when I said I didn’t want to be alone, but you didn’t, so I had to say something.” Her eyes watered again. “Truthfully, I didn’t want them to see me like that. They would have known immediately how much I cared for you. I would have escaped for anyone else. Hux’s cage wouldn’t have held a bloggin.”

Kylo had no idea what a bloggin was, but this confession from Rey softened his rage somewhat, at least. “So you do love me,” he said, and this felt right.

“Yes, I love you. I may have always loved you,” Rey said. She leaned back and closed her eyes, as if annoyed by this possibility.

“You have a funny way of showing it. Have you forgotten you shot me when we first met?”

“Of course I did. Love is terrifying!” Rey protested. “I spent nineteen years avoiding attachments, and then I meet you and there’s this huge weight in my chest I can’t even identify, only I know it’s tied to you, and you were powerful and masked and I had no idea what was going on except that I was not at all ready for it. Of course I shot you. Do you think I shoot just anyone on meeting them?”

Kylo’s anger faded into warm affection for Rey’s impossible logic. Kylo smirked, pulled out of her, and hugged her gently around the waist, leaving his head against her chest so that he could hear her furiously beating heart. The view of her bare breast was not bad either.

“I don’t do these things with just anyone either, Kylo. I did need to distract you, but I could have done it other ways. I… I thought you might not forgive me, and I wanted to be with you at least once. The Resistance was already on its way, so...” Rey groaned her misery. “I feel like a monster.”

Kylo pulled his left hand free. He caressed the side of the breast he faced, then gentle brushed the nipple with his thumb. “I am angry at you,” he said, for it was true, even though he had trouble focusing on it in the moment. He was not nearly done being angry with her. “And what you did was monstrous.” Catastrophic, really. The galaxy needed the First Order. The Resistance was not at all equipped to fill that vacuum with anything but chaos, and billions would suffer as a result. “However,” he said, and he rolled the nipple under his thumb, enjoying the sound of her heartbeat picking up in response. He pulled his other hand free and grasped her other breast. She moaned. “Rey, I still want you.”

“Then take me,” she said, and he did.


	12. Epilogue

Hux sat in the right passenger seat of the piece of crap ship whose continued existence had been a constant thorn for both the Empire and the First Order and glared at the others in the cockpit.

There was the girl, of course. She piloted the junk ship with a skill that made no sense for a scrap collector on a backwater planet. Her copilot was the famous wookie who had accompanied that damn smuggler turned general in the death star battles. And behind her, in the other passenger seat, sat Ren, who was completely at ease for some unfathomable reason.

“Why aren't Ren and I in restraints?” Hux asked. They had boarded only a few minutes ago and were now leaving the Star Destroyer hangar. Hux had been imprisoned by the Resistance until that time and only briefly spoke with Ren before being escorted aboard. Ren’s words to Hux had been simple: Come with us or go on trial for his role in Starkiller Base. It was an easy choice.

“I trust Kylo, and you're not a threat,” the girl answered. 

Hux bristled at this dismissal. He had been one of the most powerful men in the First Order, second only to Kylo Ren himself, and yet this nobody girl treated him like nothing. Of course, she always had. He would never forget that mental invasion. What Ren saw in her he could not understand.

The wookie asked a question. At least, Hux supposed he did. Learning that vulgar language was beneath him, and there had always been droids and translators before. He had never suspected he might have need to understand it directly.

“I brought Hux because Kylo asked me to, Chewie,” the girl said in an exasperated tone. “And I brought Kylo because I love him. Yes, Kylo, and you should call him Kylo too. I know Ben sounds better, but it's rude to call someone a name they dislike, Chewie! How would you feel if we suddenly started calling you… I don't know!”

Ren smirked next to Hux. “Walking carpet? Flea bag?” Ren suggested. The wookie roared at Ren, but Ren’s grin only grew wider. “You don't much like it either, do you?”

“You speak their language?” Hux asked Ren, suddenly suspicious of the man he had spent the last decade working alongside. 

“Didn't you know?” the girl said. “Chewie is practically his uncle. Kylo grew up around him.”

Chewie fussed at her.

“They're the same person. Chewie. And will you stop baiting him, Kylo? Chewie was really worried about you.”

Hux groaned and massaged his temple. He had gone from being one of the most powerful men in history to playing audience to this ridiculous family drama overnight.

“And we're in hyperspace,” Rey said as she pulled the lever down and the stars streaked past. “We'll be here a few hours, so get comfortable.” She got up and stretched her arms. Even in this traditionally attractive pose, Hux did not see the appeal. The girl was ordinary-looking and bratty. Too young and trusting as well for men of distinguished tastes. Yet Ren was completely enamored by her. Ridiculous.

“I suppose you're not going to tell us where we're going?” Hux asked.

Rey shrugged and scratched her back like some salvage with no respect for decency. “It's not really a secret. We're heading to Tatooine first. Going to pay the Hutts a visit. Actually, Kylo says you'll be really helpful there, since strategy is your thing.”

Hux narrowed his eyes at her, wondering if she was mocking him since she knew fully well that his strategy had failed the entire First Order.

“I’m not mocking you! You couldn't have known I could access so much of your forces from a distance. Even I didn't know I could do that. ”

Hux cringed. “Stop reading my thoughts!”

“Sorry. They were just… loud.” She shrank in on herself. She appeared sheepish, which made no sense for a girl who had bested Kylo Ren in battle, inspired the Supreme Leader’s death, and had single-handedly delivered the entire First Order fleet to the Resistance. She was beyond comprehension, just like Ren’s infatuation with her.

“She’s still new to the force, Hux,” Ren said, as if that explained anything. Hux glared at Ren and then settled back in his chair in a huff. Ridiculous. Everything was ridiculous.

Silence filled the air for a moment, and the girl looked at him again. “Well, I know you're here because the alternative was prison, but will you help us figure out how to free the galaxy of corruption and chaos? That is something we all want, right?”

Hux sneered. “You mean after you took away our ability to hold them in check by force? The odds are nigh impossible.”

Ren shook his head and smiled. “Never tell me the odds,” he said. The wookie chuffed a surprised laugh and the girl beamed at him, as if he had said something monumental. Hux shook his head. He was surrounded by madmen.

“I'm going to bald prematurely if I spend more time on this ship,” Hux moaned.

Ren glanced at Rey, and Hux wondered if they were exchanging some secret force message. Did they flirt like that too? He groaned. He had always found force users to be creepy, and now he was stuck on a ship with two of them and no other company but a wookie he couldn't understand. On the other hand, if they flirted through the force, at least he wouldn’t have to hear it.

“Hux, come with me for a moment,” Ren said. Hux nodded. Anything to have a break from the Resistance miscreants.

Hux followed Ren into a lounge that looked like it might have been designed half a century ago. Everything in there was faded, damaged, and filthy, just like the rest of the ship.

Ren seemed strangely at ease among the filth. He pulled out two beers from some hidden fridge and offered one to Hux. Hux glanced at the label and was surprised to find that this, at least, was quality. Odd, but he would not refuse what little quality could be found in this strange place.

“You've lost your mind, Ren,” Hux said. He sat down on a bench and crossed both arms and legs, trying to touch as little as possible while he relaxed. Ren sat down beside him and leaned forward on his elbows. “What is this? How are either of us even alive?”

“Rey saved me. She straight-up told my mother that she was in love with me and would only surrender me over her dead body.” Ren shrugged. “My mother recognized there was no winning that battle, so she told Rey to take the Falcon and go.”

“So the girl cares for you even though she betrayed you,” Hux said, though he had already surmised as much from their circumstances on the Falcon. “And me?”

Ren shrugged, and was that a blush? Hux cringed. Forget it. He didn't need to know.

“I insisted, and then Rey insisted. You're the closest thing I have to a friend besides Rey,” Ren said. “You’re the only person besides her who isn’t afraid to tell me how things are. And I feel like I owe it to you. You helped bring Rey back to me, and you tried to warn me when you saw how deeply I had fallen.”

Hux processed this. What he had done resulted in the complete fragmentation of the First Order as the Jedi and her ex-stormtrooper accomplice had infiltrated decades of careful programming in the ranks and ordered a surrender to the Resistance. Hux had even been arrested by his own men. There had been no warning other than the girl’s apparent comfort with her imprisonment, as if being there offered her an advantage.

Hux took a deep sip and raised an eyebrow at Ren. “What were you doing when everything fell apart? I expected you to come jumping in with your lightsaber when I set off the alarms. I even tried projecting my thoughts at you, for what little good it might do. Where were you?”

Ren's eyes widened, and a blush spread to his ears. 

Hux sighed. Of course, he and the girl had been comfortably preoccupied while Hux had suffered. “You're a terrible friend,” Hux said. “Though I suppose I can’t fault you. There are worse ways to lose a war than getting laid.”

“We do love each other,” Ren said.

Hux rolled his eyes and sighed. “I know,” he said. It was the most mind-boggling aspect of all of this. Ren and this girl were on opposite sides of the war and had not known the other existed until a few weeks ago. They had each tried to kill each other and tried to take advantage of each other’s trust, and yet they still were undeniably happy to be at each other’s side. “Aren’t you angry with her, Ren?” he asked. “You were as passionate about the First Order’s dreams as anyone else.”

Ren sighed and nodded. “I am. I’m furious, but I would have done the same thing if our positions were reversed. I’m livid, and yet I admire her more for pulling it off.” He ran a hand through his hair. “My mother’s plans will put the galaxy back into chaos.”

Hux narrowed his eyes at Ren. “So why not stop her? The damage was done by a force user. Can you not undo it? Force things back the way they were? Is your love affair really that important!?”

“It’s not!” Ren snapped, and then he took a breath and calmed down. “It’s not. I would never betray our dreams for her. Rey and I… we talked about it for a long time last night before we went to speak with the others.”

Hux took another long sip from the beer. “Go on.”

“The last time the Republic tried to reinvent itself and the senate, it fell right back into its usual corrupt patterns, which is how things got destabilized to begin with. Rey thinks that there’s a chance the senate would work if corruption were targeted at its source swiftly and harshly. That’s why we’re on this ship.”

Hux cringed. “We’re some kind of anti-corruption policing force?”

Ren nodded. “Essentially. Rey wants to try it, and I can’t deny that there’s merit to it. Skywalker would never have done something like this. He would have considered it beneath him as a jedi. The jedi of the old republic were the same. They were too comfortable maintaining the status quo to get their hands dirty directly. We’re different.”

Hux shook his head. “You’re forgetting I’m not part of your little force club, Ren. I haven’t even engaged in real combat in years.”

“You are good at strategy though,” Ren said. “Excepting where Rey’s concerned, of course.”

Hux glowered at Ren for reminding him. Ren smirked.

“And Rey’s promised to help us reclaim the might of the First Order if the senate fails again. She has conditions, of course, but she will support us, and then the galaxy will be set right again, and you can go back to what you love best. It could be worse.”

Hux frowned, but nodded. They weren’t dead. There was one thing he didn’t understand though. “If you’re really very angry with her, how come the ship isn’t covered in lightsaber damage?”

Ren’s face turned red again, and Hux groaned. 

“At least tell me you two are using contraceptives.”

This time, Ren’s face turned white. “We did the first time, but afterwards…”

Hux massaged his brow. “Please fix that. I think I can handle playing along on this ridiculous crusade if it restores me to my power, but I absolutely draw the line at babysitting.”

Ren’s face broke into a nervous smile. “So you agree to stay and help us?”

Hux stared at Ren. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined the two of them would be working with a jedi scrap of a girl and a wookie to save the galaxy in a manner more reminiscent of the rebellions he so despised, but here they were, and he found he didn’t mind it as much as he should. 

“I guess so.”


End file.
